Where Did My Penis Go?
by Kuri Yuu
Summary: Due to a new Inui juice that backfired, the regulars get turned into girls! Can they find a way to turn back into boys, especially with the Nationals coming in a month? Humor, slight crack? No pairings, I suppose. /DISCONTINUED/
1. The Side Effect

**Where Did My Penis Go?**

Haha! Weird title. My friend made it up. XD This idea came to me after reading & watching so many gender-bender manga & movies! Anyway, this is my first PoT fic that I'm posting/making. So please don't be too hard on me if it sucks a little. :(

Please Review!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Prince of Tennis, or any of the characters. I wish I did though.

**Notes:**

"Mada mada dane" – Talking

_'Yudan sezu ni ikou' _– Thinking

?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O - Scene change

**(A/N:) **– Author's Notes

START-O!!

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

It was a typical morning practice for the Seigaku boys tennis club regulars. Well, until _THAT_ happened.

"Hmmn.." Eiji stretched & looked at the sky. "It's such a GREAT morning, nya!"

"It certainly is." Fuji replied, getting his tennis racquet.

Tezuka went up front. "Minna, Nationals is in a month. We need to get ready as soon as possible." The stoic captain paused & looked at the regulars. "Yudan sezu ni ikou!"

"Hai!"

Such a nice start to a morning. Nothing can go wrong, right? WRONG.

?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?

The practice went by smoothly enough. Tennis balls being hit back & forth, push-ups & sit-ups here & there, the usual stuff.

Everyone was now running laps. It was a race on who was the fastest. **(A/N: Like in that episode with the Penal Tea.)**

Oishi looked worriedly at his doubles partner. "Eiji, aren't you tired?"

Eiji smiled brightly. "No way, nya! I could go for 20 more laps!"

"Seems like Eiji got over his stamina issues," A certain tensai said. He looked at his other side. "Ne, Tezuka?"

"…" was his reply.

"I thought so too."

Suddenly, Ryoma dashed ahead of them all.

"Heeh.. Ochibi got really fast…" Eiji commented.

"Mada mada dane, Kikumaru-senpai." The young prodigy looked back & smirked.

Eiji got irritated. "Ochibi.." He gritted his teeth. He then dashed ahead of the others, easily overtaking Ryoma. "Take that Ochibi, nya!" He stuck his tongue out at his kouhai.

"Hmmn.. Kikumaru-senpai's fast." Ryoma said to himself. The young prodigy tried to look for something that will fit to his advantage. "Ah, there." He picked up a tennis racquet from the ground. Then he went near Kawamura. "Kawamura-senpai, here."

"Ah," Kawamura took hold of the racquet; his grip tightened. "Grr.. **BURNING!**" In no time, he overtook the young acrobat.

"**GREAT-O! Better luck next time BABY!**"

"Fsshuu. How troublesome." Kaidoh said.

"What Mamushi?" Momoshiro asked Kaidoh. "You scared that you'll be in last place?"

Kaidoh looked at Momoshiro angrily. "What did you say, teme?!"

"I could beat you anyday Mamushi!"

"Fsshuu!"

"Momo, Kaidoh, you don't need to fight over this.." Oishi interrupted. He looked around. "Where's Inui?"

"He's preparing the drinks." Fuji replied.

"Ohh…"

"..." **(A/N: lol, I didn't know what else to put here.)**

"Wait, What!?"

?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O

Everyone finally finished their laps. **(A/N: All of them tied. :D)**

"I'm thirsty, nya!" Eiji said. "I wonder if our water's still cold.."

But when they went toward the refreshment table, Inui was there waiting, grinning like a maniac.

"You all must be thirsty," The data man said, his eyeglasses glinting. "Here." He brought them their bottles.

Tezuka took a closer look at his water bottle after Inui handed it to him. "I never thought my water was so… Yellow."

Momoshiro looked wide-eyed at his own water bottle. "It looks like radioactive mustard…" he said. He turned to the data man. He was afraid to ask. "A-a… Inui-senpai, what did you put in here?

"Ah, I'm glad you asked." Inui said. He adjusted his glasses, looking rather proud of himself. "The water wasn't cold anymore so I replaced it with a new juice. 'Super Hyper Stamina Remix Inui Juice', it's a breakthrough recipe!"

Fuji smiled as he took his water bottle from Inui. "Saa… Inui, I bet it tasted better than your other drinks." He opened the bottle & took a sip. After drinking it, he had a strange look on his face. "That's strange…" he began to say, "it tastes different from your other drinks."

Eiji courageously stuck in a finger in his own water bottle to get a drop of the concoction. He put his finger in his mouth. Everyone expected the cat-like player to faint or at least turn green after tasting it.

They didn't see it.

"Hey! This actually tastes great, nya!" Eiji exclaimed. He drank more of the juice. "It almost tastes like that Gatorade™ drink!"

Everyone looked at the acrobatic player, then looked at their own water bottles. _'Well, I guess it's safe…'_ Some of them thought. _'He didn't die after drinking it…'_ All of them opened their bottles then started drinking the juice.

"Wow Inui," Kawamura commented, "what'd you put in here?" The others, excluding Tezuka & Fuji, gave similar comments.

Inui beamed with pride. "Ahh… I knew this would happen." He explained while drinking the juice himself. "The chance of it becoming a success with you guys was 91 percent."

Ryoma was the first one to finish the drink. "I'm done." He turned to Tezuka. "Buchou, can I practice already?" "Sure Echizen." The buchou replied. Ryoma stood up, took his racquet, & headed for the tennis court.

"Heh, Echizen sure wants to play the Nationals, huh?" Momoshiro said as they watched the rookie head for the tennis court.

"I agree, nya." Eiji replied. "But that's good, right?"

"Yeah it is, " Oishi said, "but I'm worried that he might overexert himself if he takes it too seriously… Something bad might happen…"

Eiji patted Oishi's shoulder. "Don't worry about that, Oishi! You know our Ochibi, nya!"

"Eiji's right," Fuji said, "Echizen's strong, we all are, so we don't have a reason to worry."

Eiji put up his chin. "See Oishi? Even Fujiko agrees with me, nya! It's not like something bad's gonna happen to him before the Nationals, right?

"Hehe, I guess you're right." Oishi said, thinking it was stupid of him to worry about something bad happening to Ryoma or the rest of the team.

?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?

"Okay everyone. Take a break." Tezuka announce after a couple of hours.

"Hai!"

"Oh yeah, that reminds me…" Ryoma suddenly remembered something. "I left something in the clubhouse." He put his racquet to his side & started walking to the tennis clubhouse.

Momoshiro spotted Echizen going to the direction of the clubhouse. "Hey Echizen! Where are you going?"

"Going to get something, Momo-senpai!" Ryoma shouted. He went inside the clubhouse.

Suddenly, his stomach ached.

"Agh…" he said, clutching his stomach. "Must be a side effect to that Inui juice…" he said to himself while trying to get to his bag, ignoring the pain.

His stomach ached even more.

"Ugh…" he dropped his racquet. _'Inui-senpai… Really should… Test out the… Drinks himself first…'_ Again, he tried to shrug off the pain while he opened his bag. He kept ignoring it until…

?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O

A loud explosion & a **REALLY **loud scream was heard from the clubhouse.

"What was that, nya!?"

"Echizen's in the clubhouse!"

"Was he the one who screamed?"

"He sounded like a girl, fsshuu…"

The 8 regulars rushed straight to the clubhouse. Eiji was the first one to reach it. He slammed the door open. "Ochibi!" He shouted out. "Are you okay, nya?"

The smoke from the explosion didn't clear up yet, so they couldn't see where Ryoma was. As the smoke was clearing up, Momoshiro saw something standing in front of the mirror. He squinted, & saw a silhouette of a person as short as Ryoma, maybe even shorter.

The dunk smasher jogged toward the person. "Hey Echizen! What happened here?"

"Tell me this isn't happening…" the person muttered.

"Eh?"

The smoke was almost gone now.

Instead of seeing Ryoma, they saw a person with long, sleek dark green hair. The person turned around & hesitantly looked up at them.

'_A girl?!' _ they all thought.

**END.**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

Okay, first chapter finished! Is it alright? Tell me if there are any grammatical errors or anything like that in this fic, I'll fix it right away. I've started Chapter 2 na, hopefully I could post it up in August, as soon as possible. Hope for the best! Please review!

xoxo,

-xXpenholder.x3


	2. The Fragile Male Ego

**Where Did My Penis Go?**

Ehem. Chapter 2 is finally up! I've been putting it off for a few days, damn me & my laziness. I'm just sneaking in computer/internet time because it's exam week & I have to study, even though some of the tests are really easy. I'm kinda forced to study anyway, so my mom can be assured that I won't have low grades. She needs to be assured so I can go to concerts (by myself, tickets paid by me.), like let's say… Panic At the Disco's concert. Which is TOMORROW!! WOOT!! YAHOO!! I GET TO SEE BRENDON!! RYAN!! WOOT!!

Umm, Well, then. On to the story!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Prince of Tennis.

**NOTES:**

"Mada mada dane" – talking

'_Yudan sezu ni ikou'_ - thinking

?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O – Scene change

**(A/N:) **– Author's notes

**START-O!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 2**

"I…um…can explain…" the girl said. "Wait, no I can't."

"Uhh…Echizen, is that you?" Momoshiro asked, feeling stupid because the person was clearly a girl.

"How can you tell?" The girl asked.

"Well, for one, you're wearing the boys' tennis outfit & those black shorts you usually wear.

"A-ah…" Ryoma looked at his outfit using the mirror. It looked loose at his (her?) body. _'Damn, does this mean I got shorter?!'_ He thought to himself.

"So you're Echizen, right Miss? Fuji asked, chuckling to himself.

"Yeah, I'm Echizen." He said. "And don't call me 'Miss'!!" He added angrily. "I'm still a guy, you know."

Eiji bounded up to the front took a closer look at the former boy tennis prodigy.

"W-what? Is there something wrong?" Ryoma asked uncomfortably, as Eiji looked at him intently.

Eiji suddenly let out a huge grin. "Hehe! Ochibi looks really cute as a girl, nya!" He said playfully.

"S-shut up, Kikumaru-senpai!" Ryoma yelled furiously. "Don't call me a girl!" The tennis prodigy took a handful of tennis balls & began throwing them one by one at the cat-like acrobat.

"Heeh… But isn't it true, Ochibi-chan? You're a girl!" Eiji teased while dodging the tennis balls. "Ow!" he said when the last ball Ryoma threw hit him on the head. "Nya, that hurt!" He said, rubbing his forehead.

"Serves you right, senpai." Ryoma said, getting ready to throw another handful of balls.

"Echizen, you don't have to resort to violence." Tezuka scolded sternly.

"S-sorry buchou…"

"Ochibi seems more violent now, nya…" Eiji pouted.

"Maybe he's going through that 'PMS' thing girls have." Whispered Momoshiro.

"Nya, you might be right." Eiji replied.

"Hey, I heard that!" Ryoma threw another ball at Momoshiro.

"Ow! Echizen! I was only joking!" Momoshiro exclaimed.

"I don't get it though," Oishi said suddenly, "how did you become a girl in the first place?

Ryoma stiffened. "I don't know…"

"You don't know?"

"No."

"Well, what do you remember doing before turning into… Well, a girl?" Kawamura questioned.

"Uhh…" Ryoma thought hard. "I remember my stomach aching a couple of times before this happened."

"Before that."

"Playing tennis."

"And…?"

"And…" the freshman thought really hard. "Ah! I drank Inui-senpai's new juice."

"…"

"…"

"…"

All heads turned to Inui.

"Eh?" The data man said.

"I-nu-i! It's your fault our Ochibi became a girl, nya!" Eiji exclaimed.

"I never predicted this would happen…It's illogical…"

"But, why didn't we turn into girls?" Oishi asked. "We all drank it."

Oishi spoke too soon.

"GYAHH!!" they yelled, smoke suddenly exploding around them.

?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O

After the smoke cleared up, they weren't any different from Ryoma.

"Who the heck is that?!" Momoshiro shrieked, pointing at his reflection in the mirror.

"This is…very, VERY illogical…" Inui said, staring at everyone.

"We…all turned into girls…" Kaidoh looked wide-eyed at the mirror.

"This CANNOT be happening!"

"Nya, isn't the Nationals in a month?

"…"

"…"

"…"

"THIS DEFINITELY CANNOT BE HAPPENING!"

"The Nationals isn't a mixed tournament, right? We can't enter as girls! We'll get disqualified!"

Ryoma shrugged. "At least I'm not the only one."

"Echizen!"

"Che."

"…" Tezuka sighed. Everyone looked in awe at the buchou, seeing the situation of being a girl hadn't fazed him at all. But, they never really did know what their captain was thinking. _'Oh god. What the heck do we do? No one will believe this!'_

"…Inui."

"Yes, buchou?"

"500 laps."

"A-ah…"

?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O?O

"Alright. Now what do you suppose we do in this situation?" Tezuka asked as soon as everyone calmed down.

"Ah. I happen to remember a recipe antidote I made that could counter the effects of other juices I've made. Only problem is the success rate is 0.04 percent."

Suddenly, the whole club room seemed to brighten up.

"Alright! Our problem's solved! Even if the success rate is low, there's still a chance!" Momoshiro cried.

"We can go to the Nationals!" Eiji exclaimed.

"Heeh, we won't be girls anymore." Fuji mused. _'Aww, I wanted to see what might happen to them…'_

"But…I forgot the recipe…"

The feeling of depression went back in the room in an instant.

"Fsshuu, we're done for." Kaidoh hissed.

"As if it was going to work anyway…" Ryoma muttered.

"Inui, try to concoct a new recipe for that antidote as soon as you can. It might be the only way we can turn back." Tezuka ordered. _'There's no way in hell we're going to miss the Nationals, let alone be a girl for the rest of my life.'_

"Hai, buchou." The data (wo)man got out his notebook & began to make notes & calculations for the upcoming antidote recipe.

"But, until Inui makes the juice, what do we do?" Oishi asked. "Our parents will never believe this, the school's gonna go mad if they find out, and Ryuuzaki-sensei will most likely kill us…"

"Saa… Maybe we could stay with someone who would actually believe what happened?" Fuji suggested.

"Fujiko's right. But who with, nya?" Eiji said. "I think we need clothes too. And we can't go into our houses to get our clothes without our families seeing us."

"Mmmn, that's right." Momoshiro agreed. "Besides, it's not like our clothes are gonna fit us properly, with the new…additions to our bodies." He looked worriedly at his…uhh, new chest.

'_Oh yeah…'_ Everyone thought, looking at their own chests,

"…You're a pervert, teme." Kaidoh said.

"I am not!"

"Fsshuu! What makes you think you're not?"

"H-hey, calm down you guys." Kawamura said, trying to break up the two juniors, who were now choking each other's throats & pulling each other's hair.

Eiji looked in awe. "Wow, they're more aggressive fighting as girls than fighting as guys, nya…"

An idea popped into Ryoma's mind.

"I don't know about the clothes, but I think I know where we could stay." He grabbed his cellphone & looked for a number.

"Eh? Where?" Oishi asked.

"Shh. It's ringing." Ryoma said, putting his index finger to his lips. **(A/N: which to me, would look really cute if he was still in his own body (being a big fan & all.), but I think it would still look cute in the girl body. Cute girls do that in pictures, right? Lol.)**

The person on the other line picked up.

"Moshi moshi."

"Ah, it's Ryoma."

"Eh? Chibisuke? Why're you calling all of a sudden? …And why do you sound different?" **(A/N: Ryoma sounded like a girl, obviously.)**

"That's not important right now. Listen. You're staying in Japan for a few months, right? Can me & a couple of friends stay at your house until… I don't know, until the Nationals start?"

"Huh? Sure, I've got plenty of rooms in this house, but why?"

"You won't believe me if I tell you now. I'll tell you when we get there."

"Heeh…Okay then. I'll send you the address."

"Thanks Ryoga."

**END.**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

Finally, I'm done typing. That was kinda tiring to type. .-.

I had so many typos…

Eh, it's midnight now, I have to go. I need to go to school early & I need my energy for the Panic At the Disco concert! PATD here I come!!

Please review! No flames please. Tell me if I made any mistakes in spelling, grammar, etc. Tell me if you guys like it!

xoxo,  
-xXpenholder.x3


	3. Ryoga & Yumiko to the Rescue

**Where Did My Penis Go?**

So here it is, Chapter 3! Umm, sorry if I didn't update for a long time… I went through a wheel of depression (a few days after the Panic at the Disco concert) & I just got over it this morning. Other than that, I lost my fanfic notebook, so I wasn't able to write more of Chapter 3. Good thing I found my fanfic notebook in the car, lots of my friends kept nagging me about posting this, so I'm finally posting it!!

Oh, before I forget, I think some people who've read the previous chapter don't know who Ryoga is. He's Ryoma's older stepbrother. And no, he's not made up or my O.C. He's in the Prince of Tennis movie, take a look at it to see him, or just search "Echizen Ryoga" in Photobucket or something. The only thing I don't get about him is that he looks _so much_ like Ryoma even though they're just stepbrothers. He looks like an older Ryoma & a younger Najiroh. -.- What's with that?

**NOTES:**

"Mada mada dane" - talking

'_Yudan sezu ni ikou' _– thinking

?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o – Scene change

**(A/N:) **– Author's notes

**START-O!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 3**

Ryoma felt that there were eyes staring at him.

"What?"

"Ryoga?" Oishi asked. "Isn't that your brother?"

"Ochibi's brother…" Eiji shuddered at the memory of being a hostage at Sakurafubuki's ship & almost dying… thrice.

"Yeah," Ryoma replied, "he's staying in Tokyo for a few months."

Ryoma's cellphone rang. It was the text message containing Ryoga's address.

"Let's go." He carried his bag & set off to his stepbrother's house.

The others followed, still a bit confused about what happened.

?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?

"THAT'S his house?!" Momoshiro exclaimed.

"It's huge…" Kawamura's eyes widened.

Ryoma rang the doorbell.

Footsteps hurriedly running down the stairs were heard. The door was opened by a grinning Ryoga; his eyes were closed.

"Chibisuke! What took you so long?" He opened his eyes, "Eh?"

He looked shocked to see 9 girls he has never seen before standing infront of him instead of his little brother & the regulars.

"Aah… I'm sorry," he apologizingly **(A/N: I'm sorry, I don't know if I spelled that right.) **said to Ryoma, "I thought you were my brother."

An anger tick appeared on Ryoma's forehead. He got a tennis ball from his pocket **(A/N: lol, those things come in handy. XD) **& threw it at Ryoga.

"Yow-ouch!" Ryoga screamed. "Hey lady, what did I ever do to you?"

"Stuuuupid," Ryoma replied with a dull voice, "I'm Ryoma."

"Eh?" Ryoga looked at his younger brother intently. Ryoma just glared at him. "Hmmn… you _do _look like Chibisuke, but I'm not so sure I can believe you."

Ryoma sighed. To prove to his brother that it was really him, he used his last resort. He reached into his bag & brought out… his Fila cap.

Just then, Ryoga's eyes widened, "Chibisuke!" He went to glomp the younger Echizen. "It really IS you! But… why are you guys girls?"

?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?

"Heh… so that's what happened? It's kinda complicated 'ne…"

"So, can we stay here or…?" Ryoma questioned.

"Yeah sure! But does oyaji know?"

"Ah," Tezuka piped up, "I forgot to inform everyone that we were supposed to go on a training camp after practice today. Ryuuzaki-sensei already approved of it, & she already informed everyone's families. So for now, we don't have to worry about people finding out about our situation right now."

Everyone heaved a sigh of relief.

"Sorry I'm late everyone." Fuji came into the room. He turned to Ryoga. "Hope you don't mind that I used your phone."

Fuji went to sit next to Eiji. "So, what were you guys talking about just then?"

"We just solved the 'where-are-we-gonna-stay problem', nya. But, Fujiko, who'd you call?" Eiji looked questioningly at the tensai.

"You'll find out soon enough." Fuji said, smiling.

The doorbell rang. "Ah, just in time." Fuji stood up & headed for the door. The others followed.

?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?

"Syuusuke, you weren't kidding!"

"'Nee-san, sorry to drag you into this."

Fuji had called Fuji Yumiko, his sister, to help with their little situation. She sounded doubtful on the phone, but when she saw them, she went straight to try to help them.

"I feel really sorry for you boys." She said worriedly as Ryoga & the regulars helped her haul in two huge stroller bags. "It must be tough, since you guys are practicing hard for the Nationals. By the way, you can call me 'Yumiko'."

Oishi looked at the bags. "Umm, Yumiko-san, what exactly are in those bags?"

Yumiko smiled a Fuji smile, "Syuusuke told me that you guys need a little help with your wardrobe." She opened one of the bags & pulled out a really girly-looking shirt, just about Ryoma's size. "So I decided to let you guys borrow my old clothes. I have everyone's sizes here, don't worry."

"Wow…" Eiji's eyes widened as Yumiko opened both bags. Both were STUFFED with women's clothing. "Yumiko-neechan sure has a lot of clothes, nya."

"So I guess this solves our problem for now…" Ryoma said. The others looked relieved.

"Oh!" Yumiko suddenly said, "Before I forget, you guys need to wear these, too." She pulled out… dun dun dunnnnn!! A _bra_!

Everyone looked shocked, even Fuji & Tezuka.

"Nee-san… are you serious…?" Fuji asked.

"Well, of course! As a fellow woman, I can't let you boys… girls… get sagging breasts. No girl would want that!"

"But we're not really girls." Kaidoh pointed out.

"But you're girls now, right?" Yumiko stood up & gave each regular two bras. "I hope my guesses are right. I each bought you two bras." She turned to Ryoga. "I'm sorry Ryoga-kun, but can you step out for a minute?"

"But this is my house…" Ryoga started to say.

"Get out!" Ryoma shoved him through the front door.

"Hey!" Ryoga protested when he heard a click of the lock. "You can't lock me out, Chibisuke! This is MY house!" He sighed & sat on the porch. _'And I thought I was gonna live in peace…'_

?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?

"Agh, how do girls _breathe _in these things?"

Everyone had settled down, Somehow, Yumiko had guess their sizes right.

"I suppose Inui should continue working on that antidote." Tezuka nodded toward Inui.

Inui nodded back. "Though there's a 91.7 chance of it taking a really long time…"

_SNAP._

"Yow!" Ryoma shouted. "What was that?"

"Oops, the strap's on too tight. Let me help you with that." Yumiko chuckled, "It seems that Ryoma-kun is still 'mada mada dane', ne?"

Everyone laughed at an annoyed/irritated-looking Ryoma.

?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?

Hmm? That's strange…" Yumiko said, still trying to adjust the strap.

"What is?" Ryoma asked.

"My guesses are usually right but… I bought the wrong cup size for Ryoma-kun."

"Huh?"

"You're definitely a B cup."

"… what?"

"Yumiko giggled. "It means we're going bra shopping!"

**END.**

**TO BE CONTINUED.**

* * *

Ugh, my humor batteries are running low these days, I need to work on that. Sorry if there's wrong use of grammar or mistakes, I'm a little out of it today. " Oh yeah, last Friday was Gakuto's birthday, Belated Happy Birthday Gakuto! I made a fic & a drawing for you! I hope I'll be able to post Chapter 4 soon, even with all the studying for tests I need to do…

…Okay, hope you guys will read the next chapter! Review please!

xoxo,

xXpenholder.x3


	4. The Shopping Excursion

**Where Did My Penis Go?**

Uwa! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It took a LONG time for me to update. I got writer's block & I got lazy. D: Procrastinating wasn't a good idea, I guess. Oh yeah, it's Halloween, right? Happy Halloween! And happy birthday L! Yes. L Lawliet. From Death Note. Er… Anyway, on with the story!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Prince of Tennis.

**Notes:**

"Mada mada dane" – talking

'_Yudan sezu ni ikou'_ – thinking

**o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o **– scene change

**START-O!!

* * *

  
**

**CHAPTER 4**

"But… Do we really need to do _this_?"

"Of course! Now come one, don't lag behind Ryoma-kun!"

'_How the heck did I get in this mess…'_

**o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o**

**A FEW MINUTES AGO…**

"_We're going what?" Ryoma asked._

"_Didn't you hear what I said? We're going shopping, of course!" Yumiko said. "Now come on, dress up & we'll head out."_

**o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o**

Ryoma couldn't believe that his oh-so-caring senpais all found an excuse to skip out on the shopping excursion, thus leaving only himself to deal with this fatal punishment sent down from the heavens.

He knew he didn't like to go shopping, always refusing to go whenever his mom or his cousin asked if he would like to tag along, except maybe if they are out to shop for onsen bath salts.

"Ryoma-kun, you're walking too slow." Yumiko stopped walking & looked backed to see the lagging Echizen. "Anything wrong?"

"Not really… It's just that, did you really have to make me such a girly outfit?" He said, looking uncomfortably at the so-called outfit. It was all… Well, girly.

"Nonsense." Yumiko's facial expression turned into one of the most feared expression known among junior high school tennis players: the sadistic smile made famous by Fuji Syuusuke. "I spent a lot of money just for you boys, especially you, Ryoma-kun. The least you can do is wear what I've picked out for you…"

"A-ano… Hai." Ryoma stuttered, sweatdropping. _'Now I know who Fuji-senpai's influence is…'_ He shrugged off the creepy vibe that was emanating from Fuji's sister.

**o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o**

"Here we are!" They've reached their destination: the local mall's department store.

"Hello there! Good morning! **(A/N: lol, it's still morning.)**" A perky saleslady came up to them. "How may I help you?"

"We're here to shop for bras." Yumiko replied, putting her arms around Ryoma. "It's her first one."

The saleslady looked more than happy to help. "Oh! Let me help you with your choices." She looked at Ryoma & smiled. "Now what's your size young lady?"

"My huh??"

This is gonna take a while…

**o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o**

Ryoma examined the rows & rows of bras. **(A/N: They were done with the shopping.)** "I don't get it…" He said to Yumiko, "Why are there so many designs for each bra? No one would be able to see these things, right?" **(A/N: lol, I'm always wondering about this myself, too. What ARE those designs for anyway?)**

Yumiko chuckled. "To tell you the truth, I don't know either." She looked at her watch. "My, is that the time already? We'd better hurry if we don't wanna miss lunch."

"Lunch…" Ryoma's stomach grumbled. He hadn't realized that it took them for what seemed like hours to find one that fit him. He hadn't eaten anything since before the practice!

Yumiko noticed the hungry look on the boy's (girl's?) face. "Why don't you go on ahead? I have to call someone for a while. You know your way the—"

She hadn't even finished her sentence & Ryoma was off like a bullet.

He went down the stairs as fast as he could. He was nearing the entrance of the mall when suddenly…

BAM!

"Gyah!" Ryoma yelled.

"Argh!" The person that the freshman bumped into shouted.

They both fell flat on the floor. Apparently, Ryoma wasn't looking to where he was going.

"Ugh…" The other person groaned."Who dares bump into Ore-sama infront of the public? Kabaji, help me up."

"Usu."

'_Ore-sama? Kabaji? Usu? Wait, don't tell me…'_

Ryoma quickly looked up & saw the person who spoke,

'_Oh God, no'_

He was face to face with Hyoutei's own Atobe Keigo & Kabaji Munehiro.

Ryoma slapped his forehead. _'Crap. The monkey king?! Why now??'_

Atobe noticed that Ryoma was still on the ground. "Hmm? Is that the person who bumped into Ore-sama? Kabaji, help her up."

"Usu." Kabaji went & offered Ryoma a hand.

"Umm… Thanks." Ryoma said. When he stood up, he noticed that Atobe was staring at him. Suddenly, Atobe walked toward the freshman & stopped at a dangerously close distance from Ryoma's face, still staring. Ryoma began to feel uncomfortable.

"You look like that Echizen brat from Seigaku." Atobe finally said. "Are you related?"

Ryoma froze. _'Dammit. What if he finds out?! If that happens…'_ Ryoma inwardly shuddered. He didn't know WHAT would happen. They would probably get kicked out from participating in the Nationals. Tezuka would probably make him run laps until he died.

Atobe smirked. "Well, it doesn't really matter if you're related to that cocky brat or not."

Ryoma felt relieved, but also annoyed. He glared at Atobe. _'Me? A cocky brat? You should think for yourself.'_

"Ahn, you're pretty. Go out with Ore-sama."

"E-eh?!"

**o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o**

**MEANWHILE…**

"Ah, nee-san, you're back." Fuji said, putting down the book he was reading. "Where's Echizen?"

"Hmm?" Yumiko blinked. "I thought he went ahead of me. He didn't arrive?"

Eiji shook his head. "No. We were starting to wonder what was taking you guys so long, nya."

"Well, I saw someone from that school… Hyoutei? It was their captain, I think. Ryoma-kun must've bumped into him."

All the regulars fell silent.

"Uh-oh…"

**END.**

**TO BE CONTINUED.

* * *

  
**

Aww, it was still October when I was typing this, now it's November 1. I was a few minutes late. DX

Anyway, sorry I didn't put anymore details in their bra-hunting. I didn't really want to think about what size Ryoma should be… Sorry! D: lol, sorry if this turned out shorter than the other chapters. I'll try to make the next chapter longer. Hopefully, I won't have writer's block anymore! :D

Review please!

xoxo,

xXpenholder.x3


	5. Incoming Hyoutei!

**Where Did My Penis Go?**

Chapter 5 is up. Sorry I didn't update when it was November. I got pretty busy & I didn't have time to type this in my computer. This chapter is gonna be longer than the previous ones I've written. XD I promised in the last chapter that I'd make the next chapter long, right? :)

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the Prince of Tennis.

**NOTES:**

"Mada mada dane" - talking

'_Yudan sezu ni ikou' _– thinking

_**?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o**_ – Scene change

**(A/N:) **– Author's notes

**START-O!**

**

* * *

  
**

**CHAPTER 5**

"Hey! Let go of me! I said I didn't want to date you, stupid monkey king!" Ryoma said, trying to escape from Atobe's grasp.

"Hn. You're quite the rude girl, aren't you? Maybe you ARE related to that Echizen brat." Atobe said, trying to drag Ryoma to some fancy restaurant.

"Eh. YOU'RE more of a brat than I… He ever was."

"Ahn? You seem even brattier than Echizen." Then he added with a smirk, "But that makes you even cuter."

Ryoma wanted to puke. Was Atobe serious?

"And it's useless if you try to escape." Atobe said, noticing Ryoma struggling to get Atobe to let go. "Kabaji will be able to stop you. Ne, Kabaji?"

"Usu."

_**?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o**_

"I wonder what's happening to Ochibi right now, nya." Eiji said as he & the rest of the regulars were rushing to the mall.

Fuji thought for a bit. "Maybe Atobe thought he was pretty, and decided to drag Echizen out on a date."

"Fujiko… Are you serious?"

"Hmm… Well, somewhat. It's a possibility."

"Hey! I think I see Echizen!" Momoshiro pointed out.

"Fsshuu, and he's with… Atobe-san?!" Kaidoh said.

"Is Atobe taking Echizen out for a date?" Kawamura blinked.

Inui got out his notebook. "Interesting… Atobe seems to like Echizen as a girl. There's a 97.8 percent chance that Echizen isn't enjoying this at all, though."

"What do you think'll happen?" Oishi asked.

"… I really can't say." Was Tezuka's reply.

Eiji looked at Fuji with amazement.

"Wow, you were right!" He said.

Fuji grinned. "See? I told you."

_**?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o**_

'_What the hell should I do??'_ Ryoma was desperate to get out pf the situation he was in. So, he did the only thing he could think of at the time.

He got out a tennis ball **(A/N: lol, haven't used those in a while.)** & threw it at Kabaji's head. This made Atobe look at Kabaji, and, while he wasn't looking…

Ryoma bit Atobe's hand.

"Ow! She bit me!" Atobe shouted, letting go of the freshman.

Ryoma seized this chance & made a run for it.

"Geh… So that's how it is, ahn? But... I'm not giving up that easily." He turned to Kabaji, "Kabaji, help me run after her."

"Usu."

_**?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o**_

Ryoma ran & ran like there was no tomorrow. He ran until he could no longer see Atobe or Kabaji, but he kept running just in case.

He abruptly stopped running.

"Wait a minute," he said to himself, "where am I going?"

He looked around & saw that he was near a park. He then realized that he had clearly NO IDEA where he was.

Ryoma decided to sit down & think of what he was gonna do next. He spotted a nearby tree & laid down on the grass.

Suddenly, he heard a tiny snore.

He sat upright & looked at where the snoring was coming from.

"What the hell!" He almost jumped up seeing yet another regular of Hyoutei, Akutagawa Jirou.

'_Maybe I could ask him where this place is,'_ he thought, _'but what was his name again?'_

The freshman began to gently shake Jirou by the shoulders. "Hey." He said. "Hey you, wake up."

Instead of waking up though, Jirou wrapped his arms around Ryoma like he was the narcoleptic's teddy bear.

"Gah!" Ryoma exclaimed. "Let go of me you…! I'm not your pillow!"

Since Jirou was obviously sleeping, he couldn't hear Ryoma's protests. Still struggling to get Jirou off, he saw a tall figure coming up to them out of the corner of his eye.

"Jirou-senpai! We're all waiting for – oh."

Ryoma looked up & saw that the person was yet ANOTHER Hyoutei regular, Ootori Choutarou.

'_Damn… Why do I keep seeing people from Hyoutei…??'_

"Ah, I'm sorry," Choutarou started to say, "he must've thought you were his pillow or something. He always does that." He explained as he was helping Ryoma get Jirou's arms off him.

"I see…" Ryoma replied.

"Though I've never seen you around here before." The Hyoutei junior said as Jirou's arms somehow let go of Ryoma & he wrapped his arms around Choutarou instead. "What's your name?"

Before the freshman could reply, 3 other people came up to them.

"So this is what took you so long, Choutarou? Hanging out with your girlfriend." The person grinned.

"Hah?" Choutarou gave a questioningly look. "Oh, Shishido-san. Sorry if I took long everyone. And… No. She's not my girlfriend. **(A/N: Wow, how straightforward.)**

Gakuto went nearer. "Oh, so this was where you went to." He looked down. "Jirou's doing it again?"

Oshitari went & helped untangle Choutarou from Jirou's arms. He chuckled a bit. "Last time this happened, it was Shishido in your place. His reaction was memorable."

Shishido glared at Oshitari. "Don't remind me of that." He warned, then he looked at Ryoma, "Anyway, if you're not Choutarou's girlfriend, then who are you?"

"… I… Umm… Uhh…"

"Well…?"

"Well… Uhh…" Ryoma thought hard. "Ah! I… I just came here from abroad & uhh… I'm looking for my cousin, yeah. But I guess I got lost trying to look for him."

"Oh? What's your cousin's name? Maybe we could help you." Choutarou offered.

"Uhh… Echizen Ryoma."

Oshitari's eyes widened a bit. "That Echizen kid from Seigaku??"

"Yeah." Ryoma replied, relieved that his lie worked on them.

Gakuto looked at him. "Well, I guess you look a lot like that brat."

The freshman inwardly frowned. Did every person who knew him all think he was a brat?

Shishido was starting to look bored. "Do you really need to find him now? That'll take forever, and we still haven't practiced at all."

"Ahh… No." Ryoma said, trying to put on a fake smile. _'Maybe if I stay a bit longer, I could see if they have any new moves that I should look out for…' _He thought to himself.

"Hey, what happened to Hiyoshi?" Gakuto asked suddenly. "Wasn't he supposed to be with Jirou?"

"He told me he got bored & went out to look for Atobe." Oshitari answered. He then noticed that Ryoma slightly shuddered when the name of Hyoutei's captain was mentioned. "So I take that you've met our captain?"

The freshman glared at the ground & nodded.

Gakuto burst out laughing, "He tried to force you to date him, didn't he?"

Suddenly, they heard a soft growl coming from Ryoma's stomach.

"Oh, that reminds me, we were supposed to eat at my house, right?" Choutarou said, then he looked at Ryoma. "You can join us if you like, I don't really mind."

The freshman was about to say no, but his stomach refused to remain unfed. Other than that, he didn't bring any money.

"Uhh… Okay."

Choutarou smiled. "Alright, let's go guys. Wait, you're not allergic to seafood, are you?"

"No…"

_**?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o**_

"Unyaa… I'm tired…" Eiji said.

"Echizen has to be around here somewhere," Oishi said, "where else could he have gone?"

"Maybe he was able to get away from Atobe, but he's been spotted by the other regulars of Hyoutei & now he's coming to one of their houses to eat since he's hungry." Fuji suggested.

Everyone looked at the tensai with a "…" expression.

"What?" The tensai said. "It can happen, right?"

_**?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o?o**_

Ryoma's eyes widened at the food infront of him. Infront of him were huge plates filled with crabs covered in sweet chili sauce, crabs covered in salt & pepper, shrimps in buttered garlic, stuffed squids & huge oysters. **(A/N: That was my dinner last Sunday! XD)**

'_I didn't know that Ootori-san was filthy rich like Atobe-san… Wait, he's from Hyoutei. I shouldn't be surprised.' _He thought to himself. **(A/N: Come on people, they're from HYOUTEI. They're all bound to be rich. :P)**

Choutarou noticed the hungry look on the freshman's face. "You could have as much as you want," he said, "an awful lot was prepared for some reason."

"Are you serious?!" Ryoma exclaimed. Never get between a young boy (girl?) & his stomach.

The junior nodded.

And almost in an instant, almost half of what was served was completely devoured.

Shishido stared in both disgust AND amusement. "She sure eats fast." He commented.

Gakuto gave a small pout. "I haven't even eaten yet…"

Choutarou let out a small laugh. "Don't worry Mukahi-senpai. There's a lot more in the kitchen, I think."

Gakuto rushed into the kitchen & came back with platefuls of food. "You were right, Ootori! Why'd the chef make THIS much??"

Choutarou shrugged. "My parents are gonna have a party, I guess."

Suddenly, Oshitari's cellphone rang. He opened it & read what the text message was about. "Wakashi said that he & Atobe are on their way here," he announced. "I wonder where Atobe was all this time – Hey, somebody wake Jirou up."

Ryoma stopped in mid-biting a crab claw when he heard what Oshitari just said.

Atobe. On his way. _HERE._

Shishido noticed Ryoma's horror-stricken face as he & Choutarou were trying to get Jirou's head off the narcoleptic's empty plate. "Atobe's left you traumatized, huh?"

The freshman stood up. "Uhh, I think I need to go now. Can I bring some food with me?"

"Hmm? Sure. I'll just get someone to wra—" Choutarou was cut off by a loud doorbell. "Ah, I'll get that."

'_Crap!'_ Ryoma thought. _'That's probably the monkey king!'_

As Choutarou was nearing the front door, Ryoma was tempted to throw the crab claw he was holding at Choutarou's head.

"Eh?" Choutarou blinked. "Can I help you?"

Luckily for Ryoma (And Choutarou), instead of Atobe, Kikumaru Eiji was standing on Choutarou's doorstep.

Ryoma was both shocked & relieved that his senpai had found him. Though he couldn't help but ask. "What are you doing here?"

"Fujiko was right again, nya!" The acrobat exclaimed. "We saw you with people from Hyoutei a while ago, I rushed here ahead of the others, they should be here in 10-15 minutes," Just then, he noticed that Choutarou was at the front door. "Unyaa! I'm sorry Ootori-kun! I didn't see you there." He said apologizingly to the Hyoutei junior.

"That's fine, but how'd you know my name?"

Well, that's… Umm… Uhh… Nya, I'm… Kikumaru Eiji's cousin!" Eiji said nervously.

Choutarou's eyes widened. "Oh, Kikumaru-san from Seigaku?"

"Hoi!" Eiji nodded. "He told me about you & the Junior Invitational Camp thing. He said that you're an awesome doubles player, nya!" He said, grinning.

Choutarou reddened slightly at Eiji's statement. "Th-thanks… But that was only because he was really encouraging. I'm just an average doubles player."

"No, that's not true! You're an awesome doubles player all on your own, Ootori-kun!" Eiji exclaimed. It seems like the acrobat is oblivious to the fact that Choutarou was now blushing madly.

"What's all the yelling about?" Shishido asked as he & the other Hyoutei regulars present (excluding Jirou) came to the front door. "Huh? Another girl?"

"Eh?" Eiji said. "Ah! Well, I just came to pick my friend up here, nya…"

Oshitari looked at Eiji. "Is it just me, or do you look like Kikumaru from Seigaku?"

"She does?" Gakuto looked at Eiji. "Oh yeah, she does. She even has that bandage thing on her cheek like Kikumaru!" He turned to Eiji. "Are you related to him or something?"

Eiji nodded. "Hoi, hoi." Uhh… I'm his cousin, yeah."

Shishido cocked at eyebrow. "So, both of you are visiting your cousins from Seigaku?"

Ryoma & Eiji nodded. Then Eiji pretended to look at his watch. "Uwaa! Is that the time already? We'd better go, Ochibi!"

"Ochibi?" Choutarou repeated. "Doesn't Kikumaru-san call Echizen-kun that?"

"Hey, you're right, Choutarou." Shishido said. "Are you two really those guys in disguise??"

Gakuto's eyes widened. "So they're into cross-dressing?!"

Oshitari sighed. "Don't you two think that's a bit far-fetched?" He looked at both Eiji & Ryoma. "Though I have to say so myself, you two look TOO much like Echizen & Kikumaru."

Suddenly, like salvation from the heavens, Eiji's cellphone rang.

Eiji answered it almost immediately. "Nya, Fujiko! Where are—What? You guys got lost? Nya, alright, we'll meet you there in a few minutes." He put his phone back in his pocket. "Unyaa, sorry everyone, we really need to go now…"

"Hmm? What's this? So you were here all along, ahn?"

Ryoma froze. He couldn't believe his bad luck.

"Ahh, Atobe, what took you so long?" Oshitari asked.

"Well, I was looking for THAT girl." Atobe said, pointing at Ryoma. "And she will date Ore-sama whether she likes it or not."

"What! No way in hell!" Ryoma yelled.

"Wait, wait! What she means is, not right now!" Eiji said. "She said she'll be happy to date you tomorrow! Today's a bad time for us right now, nya."

Ryoma threw a shocked, icy stare at Eiji. Eiji then pulled him aside. "Ochibi, this is your chance to find out what Hyoutei's up to for the Nationals!" He whispered.

"… What?? Why would I even do this, huh?" Ryoma hissed.

"I don't know about you, but I think Tezuka's been hit pretty hard by this whole us-turning-into-girls thing, nya." Eiji reasoned out. He shivered. "He was giving off a really depressing & creepy aura back at your brother's house. Maybe if you find something about Hyoutei that will fit our team's advantage will lighten up his mood a bit!"

"… No."

"Come on! Do it for the team!"

"I would rather die than date that thing!" Ryoma pointed at Atobe.

"Nya… Ah! What if I treat you to an All-You-Can-Eat at Kawamura Sushi??"

"… Really??"

"Yeah!" Eiji nodded.

"… Fine." Ryoma said hesitantly. "But Kikumaru-senpai, if anything goes wrong, I WILL kill you."

"Everything will be fine!" Eiji reassured. He & Ryoma went back near the Hyoutei regulars. "She said you guys should meet in the mall tomorrow noon."

"I did??"

Eiji nudged the freshman at the ribs.

"Oh yeah, what she said."

Atobe looked at Eiji then Ryoma, then smirked. "Alright, but just make sure you were something nice. Ore-sama does not want to be seen dating a commoner."

Everyone, even the Hyoutei regulars, all raised an eyebrow at Atobe.

"… Wow." Eiji said.

Ryoma groaned. "I just know I'm gonna regret this…"

**END.**

**TO BE CONTINUED.

* * *

  
**

lol, this chapter was all about Hyoutei, wow. If you people haven't noticed, not one of the Seigaku regulars had said their name to the people of Hyoutei. The main reason is… I haven't thought of any girl names for them. XD I need help! Can anyone give me suggestions of girl names for them that still sound like their original names? (Like for Ryoma, it should start with an R or sound like the first syllable of his name or something.) It will be a huge help if someone can give me names so Chapter 6 can be released sooner.

Review please!

xoxo,

xXpenholder.3


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